He joined her last night

He joined her last night, slipping into her waiting arms

He joined her last night, slipped away into the shadow lands at last

The long slow minutes, the seconds tapping out his guilt

Hour upon hour clutching at release – all the tragedy now is past

“Boy” they called him – a nickname given 90 years ago

Handsome, charming he was wrapped in a golden glow

She called him “Pappa” with love and kindness in her soft tone

No children between them, her only son dead, left them all alone

A lovely lady, my special friend, closer than my mother

A heart-bond shared, she moved with grace and energy

Alive and sparkling, mischief in her eyes, she meant the world to me

Love born of hard times spoken of with laughter and fondness

Courage and patience they outlived adversity

Together like yin and yang – inseparable for harmony.

Then her voice stilled – lost for Eternity

And the clock counted the seconds accusingly.

What greater grief than to be the executioner

Leaving the seconds, days, months, years, raw and lonely?

Below is a poem I wrote for him 18 months ago

When he accidentally drove over and killed her after 50 years of marriage

I give thanks that he has joined her in the shadow

She is at rest now in the safe haven of his love again

Retrospective - lessons learnt too late

I have found how hard it is to lose one’s life,

The small things which I took for granted,

the infinite daily subliminal expectations,

how things used to be only noted by their absence.

Every minute, every hour I become more aware

How unappreciative habit had become

The repetition blunting the edge of gratitude

Making commonplace the extraordinary.

And unexpectedly the chasm looms,

Gone is the author of my life’s even tenor

The ache becomes deeper than the sea,

wider than the horizon, higher than the sky.

And now all these things that teemed with humanity

Have no substance, are lost, alone, empty

How could I know that when she left

She would take the whole of me?

All these years together, how I drifted into complacency

Knowing that our lives were drawing to a close

I made no allowances, carried on unfeelingly.

Then suddenly she was gone, fled this life

I did not think that I should be the author

and that her life would end so violently

Like holding a robin’s egg sky-blue in my

Hand, clenching my fist – shattered inadvertently.

The remaining years are far too long suddenly

Life’s hopelessness stretching to infinity

Nothing is important, what can living mean to me?

Without her life is lost, never to return.

All of nature’s beauty is calling her name

Places where we once laughed and loved now

Weep in the wind and cry on the rain

The sun has set, she will not come again.