He joined her last night, slipping into her waiting arms
He joined her last night, slipped away into the shadow lands at last
The long slow minutes, the seconds tapping out his guilt
Hour upon hour clutching at release – all the tragedy now is past
“Boy” they called him – a nickname given 90 years ago
Handsome, charming he was wrapped in a golden glow
She called him “Pappa” with love and kindness in her soft tone
No children between them, her only son dead, left them all alone
A lovely lady, my special friend, closer than my mother
A heart-bond shared, she moved with grace and energy
Alive and sparkling, mischief in her eyes, she meant the world to me
Love born of hard times spoken of with laughter and fondness
Courage and patience they outlived adversity
Together like yin and yang – inseparable for harmony.
Then her voice stilled – lost for Eternity
And the clock counted the seconds accusingly.
What greater grief than to be the executioner
Leaving the seconds, days, months, years, raw and lonely?
Below is a poem I wrote for him 18 months ago
When he accidentally drove over and killed her after 50 years of marriage
I give thanks that he has joined her in the shadow
She is at rest now in the safe haven of his love again
Retrospective - lessons learnt too late
I have found how hard it is to lose one’s life,
The small things which I took for granted,
the infinite daily subliminal expectations,
how things used to be only noted by their absence.
Every minute, every hour I become more aware
How unappreciative habit had become
The repetition blunting the edge of gratitude
Making commonplace the extraordinary.
And unexpectedly the chasm looms,
Gone is the author of my life’s even tenor
The ache becomes deeper than the sea,
wider than the horizon, higher than the sky.
And now all these things that teemed with humanity
Have no substance, are lost, alone, empty
How could I know that when she left
She would take the whole of me?
All these years together, how I drifted into complacency
Knowing that our lives were drawing to a close
I made no allowances, carried on unfeelingly.
Then suddenly she was gone, fled this life
I did not think that I should be the author
and that her life would end so violently
Like holding a robin’s egg sky-blue in my
Hand, clenching my fist – shattered inadvertently.
The remaining years are far too long suddenly
Life’s hopelessness stretching to infinity
Nothing is important, what can living mean to me?
Without her life is lost, never to return.
All of nature’s beauty is calling her name
Places where we once laughed and loved now
Weep in the wind and cry on the rain
The sun has set, she will not come again.
